Since moving to Austin my paradigms of life have been completely changed. I have come to see life in a different way. Sure, I'm still who I was a couple months ago, same tendencies and struggles, still uncomfortable about the majority of life. However, I have found that as I spend more time with the people here, I feel more encouraged to be myself. I wonder what it is about this place that makes me feel so much more comfortable in my own skin. I think a lot of it is that in coming here there were no expectations of who I was supposed to be and we all know that one of my biggest pet peeves is being told who I should be and what I should do. So maybe it has simply been the freedom to be whoever the Lord has me to be at any given moment. Some of it is the reality of being able to do what I was meant to do with my life. I have been able to throw off the shackles of school and constraints of jobs I hated. I mean I really love getting up in the morning to do my job. I love the challenges and the obstacles, the good days and the bad. I love the studying and the work that goes into being able to do vocational ministry and the Lord does renew and grow us in what we love.
Of course I have found quite a few difficulties, remember I said that my schemas of life have been pretty much shattered and that, my friend, is never a totally pleasant occurrence. I am a southern girl in a very liberal and hippie environment. I no longer find myself talking to people acting on the same natural tendency towards legalism. I am not surrounded by anyone bound to the rules. Even in the different aspects of my life I am experiencing a bit of a facelift. Ministry, relationships, everyday living all look different than I have always expected. And maybe this is the beauty of if all: even in the vast difference between my expectations and the practicality of my life, I still see the Lord working and providing me peace and joy.
One of the fringe benefits of being around people who haven't known you for years is that they have a fresh perspective on your strengths and weaknesses. And they believe in you, just because they can. I have found so much encouragement for the things that I want to do in life. At every turn I am provided with encouragement, support, resources and new ideas of how I can serve the Lord and others around me.
So although it has been difficult to broaden my horizons, it has been a delight to grow up a little. But then again, maybe all this change is due to a nose ring and a boyfriend.
