Lightening Strikes

I learned about God's sovereignty when I was entering my sophomore year of high school. A close friend of mine was struck by lightening and died the following day. How, at 15, do you reconcile a tragedy that insurance companies file under an "act of God" and God's goodness? After the visitation I remember I just got real quiet. I'm sure over the next few days I did speak something, but nothing of importance. I was just trying to find the Lord in all of it. It wasn't until a few years later that I really ever talked about my confusion with the situation and how it had left me frustrated and confused about God's character. I had just decided that He could do what He wanted and that I got no say in it. It was a faithless and loveless resignation. As the Lord worked on me, He showed me His goodness and kindness. Because of His Son and His grace, I can honestly say that I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. God has been faithful to reveal His character to me and I have truly come to love His Sovereignty, not just resign to it.

With all that said, lightening has become this symbol in my life. It represents things that I don't understand and wish could have happened another way. It stands for the things in my life that I struggle to submit to. Because, hey, God's sovereignty is good, but my willingness to always embrace and wholeheartedly submit to it is not always so good. To be honest my heart is wicked in many, many ways.

In my life right now there is a lot of lightening. It's not even as though my life is falling apart, it's not. I love my life right now. But I look at the last few years and where I am now and, frankly, I just don't understand. I don't get it. I don't know what God is doing or where He is taking me. So, I've resorting to Philippians 4...think about whatever is true. I have to remind myself of basic truths: Jesus is King of the Kingdom. The Kingdom is greater than the expectations of this world. I am deeply loved by the King and He is for me. God has a good plan for my life and the lives of others. He makes us all willing and ready to serve Him...etc, etc.

See, I'm thankful for the Truth. Because when lightening strikes and I'm scared and confused, there is something to hold onto. Something bigger than my fear and a world that spins chaotically out of control. There's Jesus. Jesus who loves me and cares for my fragile heart so tenderly. And it's during the lightening that my faith grows.