Know Any Lizard Catchers?

There's a lizard in my house. I hate lizards. They're disgusting (well, the wild ones are...pet ones are cute). It's just sitting by the sliding glass door. I was going to open the door and scurry it on out, but it's sitting next to the lock and he'll just move and go away and I will be able to hear him in walls as I sleep.
So this is what I have learned...I have to get married. Right now. I am shrinking my long list of husband requirements down to one: keep lizards out of my house. That's all I need.*^ So first man at my door with a ring and proof he can keep out lizards is the winner.
Please hurry.

*ok, you need to love Jesus
^and take out the trash

Vacation Ramblings

I'm hanging out in Raleigh, NC today. Great city and I absolutely feel like I conquered it. Ask me about my quest (and success) to find breakfast and, then, batteries. You'll be proud of me. After my nap, I really wanted to play guitar, but mine are at home. Thus, I headed to guitar center. The one here is probably my favorite of all time, chiefly because the guy who helped me is my new best friend. We talked for quite awhile. He had gauges in his ears and an awesome beard. Normally, gauges freak me out, but not on Jon. He showed me a bunch of guitars and let me play the ones that are super expensive even though he knew I wasn't going to buy one. He told me about playing a show at Murray Hill a few months ago which I thought was cool given that it is JAX and he's from Raleigh. Overall great experience.
I was a left babbling a little when he asked immediately if I wanted a guitar for playing at church. That was his first thought about my playing. I spent the next hour that I was there picking on a Taylor and wondering what about me screams "church girl." I'm not sure its necessarily a bad thing, I just don't know what his basis for it was. I wanted to ask, but I only have so much courage and I have used up all my reserves this past week. Is it something I wear (b/c non-christians were jeans, purple pullovers and pearl earrings, too)? Was it that I have a sugary sweet, 10 year old sounding voice that only speaks in pleases and thank yous and I smile a lot (b/c non-christians have manners, too)? Was it the I heart Jesus and you should too tattoo on my forehead? I'm just not sure. I didn't think that one could tell just by looking at someone, but maybe they should and maybe I should think about the presence I give b/c I have no clue what happened today. I plan to start watching people and the presence they have and maybe I will figure out what gave me away.


p.s. kidding about the tattoo

Why I Hate Church Signs

The worst church signs are the ones with some stupid cutesy saying on them. My favorite-"fight truth decay...read the bible." Stupid. Well, I thought these were the worst until I was driving home yesterday. This is what the sign read-"Happy Mothers Day! Mothers are special, that's why God made sure we all got one." Harmless at first and I am all for celebrating moms, but what about those people who don't have a relationship with their moms. What about orphans or adopted children. I know what the sign means and all. I even understand that the cleverness of it is that someone had to birth us, so we all have moms. But there is an underlying meaning that says if you don't have a mom active in your life, then God didn't make sure you had one. It says that God didn't care enough to put a mom in your life. Well that is horrible theology. To imply that God isn't just as active in your life if you don't have a mom. I had to fight the urge to run into the church's office and beat everyone in the office with a bouquet of mother's day flowers, fortunately I realized that it was after 5pm so everyone was gone.
I just wish that church's would think before they advertise something to the world. We send so many messages to people, even if they aren't what we meant to and those messages can do a lot of harm.

If ever I have made a mistake...

...that's right, I admit it. I made a huge mistake. At the time it seemed like a great idea, clever even. But, alas, it has turned into quite a nuisance. "What am I talking about?" you ask. I decided to get a UGA themed debit card. See, I had to get a new debit card and the options were stupid blue Bank of America card that a trillion people have or something a little more personalized. And being that I have a strong need for individuality I decided to get a red debit card with the Georgia "G" on it. In my head I was thinking "what could be better? I love the dawgs and the world needs to know it." So I got the UGA card.
Here's the problem-I use my debit card at least a trillion times a week (don't freak out mom, me saying "a trillion" is hyperbole...not an accurate picture of my spending habits...I don't need a talk on financial responsibility). And about 1/2 a trillion times, the person making my transaction feels the need to comment on the card. Now I know that Jesus tells us to love our neighbors, but he doesn't say that I have to talk to everyone I see and sometimes I just don't want to talk to you Old Navy checkout lady. I just don't...give me my clothes and let me be. But now they see a way into conversation and that way is the Georgia "G." I mean what am I supposed to say? "Yeah, I'm an alumna and probably the only one that never went to a band party" or "Yeah, my team is better than your" and, then poke them in the eye? I don't know...It is awkward and I don't like it.
So here are your lessons...get over your need for individuality and get the normal bank card-trust me no one says a word to you about it. Or if you are one of the many who are employed by a business who accepts debit cards, don't comment on the card. I know you think that a personalized card says of its owner "hey, talk to me about my card b/c I took extra time picking it out", but it doesn't say that and if you aren't careful you will get poked in the eye and that isn't fun.

ridiculous bumper stickers

I have never really understood bumper stickers. I can buy into sports teams or even bands, but the ones that have a lot of writing and pack a punch of personal belief really kind of chap me. I saw one the other day that was especially annoying. It was sticker that ran along the entire back window of an SUV. It read impeachobama (it also had a website, but I refuse to post it). I voted for McCain. It's cool for you to know that. I tend to have republican ideals...whatever. But to impeach someone is a big deal. Why in the world would someone not only think it was okay to impeach a president without proper reason, but to plaster that on your car for 100's of others to see...really its just stupidity. So this is my declaration: people, be cautious of what you put on your car. We are the ones that have to look at it. I don't care about your "honor roll kid" or your "kid that beat up the honor roll kid". If "Jesus is your co-pilot", I don't want to be your friend. If you have a pink "University of Florida Girl" slapped across your silver Honda Civic, I automatically want to run you off the road. Please, just make good decisions. If you need some help on deciding what is bumper appropriate I am more than willing to tell you.

Hope

This I call to mind and therefore I have hope, because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed. His compassions never fail

This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Euphemsims

Euphemisms-I don't like them. Especially when referring to death. I think they are pointless. There really isn't a nicer way to say that someone died. I started noticing when I was in college that it wasn't until somewhere between 18 and 20 that one starts using euphemisms. Don't believe me? Talk to a 16 year old. They will shoot it straight. Maybe that's why I appreciate teenagers, they don't try to pretty things up. I resolved a few years ago to not use euphemisms for death...just thought I would share.

Winter is Here

Dear Florida,

Thank you for granting my request...I am enjoying the cold weather very much.

Sincerely,

SD

Winter

Florida,

For your information it is January. Please don't cheat me out of winter. Stop being so hot.

Thanks.