In the last week I have felt an incredible amount of stress. I cried...in front of people...and that is a big deal for me. I wasn't granting myself any grace in any area of my life. I was demanding perfection from myself and those around me. This is not the world of perfection. God has been so gracious to me in the last week in revealing Himself to me and covering me with His peace. A friend shared this story with me and I have been mulling over it the last few days. She was talking to her younger sister who was being overly hard on herself and saying that she was stupid. My friend reminded her sister of her baptism and that she is united with Christ. That means that she can't say that she is stupid because she is loved. How great is that?
A few months ago I talked to high schoolers about when Paul says that he has a thorn in his side and that is a "messenger from Satan." What that means is that that thorn comes with a message of "I'm not good enough" or "I'm not worthy", but that is not true because the truth is "I am loved." So whatever I face, the truth is that I am loved deeply and completely and I am united with Christ.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness --Lamentations 3:21-23
Monday, December 29, 2008
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Show me that smile again...
I was thinking last night as I drove past some pretty tacky Christmas lights (oh the joy) that there are some pretty random things in this world that make me ridiculously happy. They are silly to be honest, but I enjoy them tremendously and they make me really thankful. I thought I would share them. Any insight on why stupid, meaningless things bring such delight to us is welcome. The only thought I have is that God loves us. Here is my list:
1.) Tacky Christmas lights
2.) The Growing Pains theme song (Show me that smile again...show me that smile)
3.) Waffle-knit fabric
4.) Open windows (in your car or at home)
5.) Playing monopoly next to a lit Christmas tree
...there are more, but this is enough for now...later
1.) Tacky Christmas lights
2.) The Growing Pains theme song (Show me that smile again...show me that smile)
3.) Waffle-knit fabric
4.) Open windows (in your car or at home)
5.) Playing monopoly next to a lit Christmas tree
...there are more, but this is enough for now...later
Monday, December 01, 2008
Sweet December
I love November and December. There is so much excitement. I mean, you have Thanksgiving, a lot of birthdays (including my own) and, then, Christmas. Plus, with all the traveling and time off I get more time to catch up with people. In the last 42 hours I have talked with four people that I never get to talk to anymore. It's fabulous. And then you have the decorating, fun music, Christmas movies and getting to wear sweaters because it is cold. It's just a good time.
I spent Thanksgiving last week with my family at a state park in SC. It was so fun. I was also able to visit one of my best friends from college and her family. It was really wonderful. I think the best part about these visits and the conversations I have had lately is that it has allowed me to talk about what I am thankful for. Day to day we deal with the mess and the problems and we talk them to death. But when I get to talk to people that I don't see everyday, I get to give them the big picture. I found that in talking about life as a whole-the challenges and the blessings-my heart softened and I was encouraged. I got to tell them how I see the Lord working both in and around me. And that is good. And that is just another reason that I like this time of year.
p.s. I am making a gingerbread house tonight and the christmas tree in my house is sweet-there are three layers of lights-at the bottom:white lights, in the middle:multi-colored lights, on top:multi-colored flashing lights---all powered by a foot switch. It is beautiful.
I spent Thanksgiving last week with my family at a state park in SC. It was so fun. I was also able to visit one of my best friends from college and her family. It was really wonderful. I think the best part about these visits and the conversations I have had lately is that it has allowed me to talk about what I am thankful for. Day to day we deal with the mess and the problems and we talk them to death. But when I get to talk to people that I don't see everyday, I get to give them the big picture. I found that in talking about life as a whole-the challenges and the blessings-my heart softened and I was encouraged. I got to tell them how I see the Lord working both in and around me. And that is good. And that is just another reason that I like this time of year.
p.s. I am making a gingerbread house tonight and the christmas tree in my house is sweet-there are three layers of lights-at the bottom:white lights, in the middle:multi-colored lights, on top:multi-colored flashing lights---all powered by a foot switch. It is beautiful.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
With Life Comes Chaos
What do you do when life surprises you in a way that you didn't expect? It's hard. I struggle with it (note previous blog...God's ironic that way). I read today that "in chaos comes opportunity." That is so true. I look forward to that. But right now I don't feel the hope that comes with opportunity. I just see and feel the chaos. Now I know that God is sovereign and loves me, He is my Father, however it would be a lie to say that anything feels like it will be okay. So what is the answer. I think that all the emotion I feel is fine. But it doesn't control me. I stand on what I know, not on what I feel. Truth first, emotions second. And the beauty of that is that it is in these times that God shows us His comfort in a tangible way. I choose to trust Him, because that is better and I have found that it is then that I find hope. 1 John says that "God is bigger than our hearts."
I looked to the Psalms of Ascent yesterday. I like them because they are songs that the Israelites sang while they were climbing mountains. It was dangerous and difficult. The words are practical (He will not let your foot slip), but at the same time they are metaphorical. I am memorizing Psalm 121. It reminds me of the steadiness of God when the world around me is in chaos:
I looked to the Psalms of Ascent yesterday. I like them because they are songs that the Israelites sang while they were climbing mountains. It was dangerous and difficult. The words are practical (He will not let your foot slip), but at the same time they are metaphorical. I am memorizing Psalm 121. It reminds me of the steadiness of God when the world around me is in chaos:
I lift my eyes up to the hills-
where does my help come from?
My help comes from You, Maker of heaven and earth
He will not let your foot slip,
he who watches over you will not slumber.
Indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep
The Lord watches over you-
He is the shade at your right hand;
The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm-
He will watch over your life;
The Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Suffering
This is a talk I gave at Sunday School last week. I thought it might be worth the post. Forgive the format, it was written to be spoken, not read. And I took out the examples.
Suffering. No one wants to teach about. It’s one of my favorite subjects though, because it is so crucial to our lives as believers and, yet, so misunderstood in our culture. We think that being a Christian and suffering are mutually exclusive. That couldn't be more wrong. We have bought into this idea that once we are a Christian our lives will be easier, but that is not what Scripture says. The Bible is full of people who are messy, hurting, abused, and misunderstood and in the struggle, namely Jesus. But that isn’t what we see in our “Christian” setting today is it? We come to church and youth group prettied up, hiding our pain. We plaster on a fake smile, hide under the flag of “God is in control.” That’s our pride and its wrong. One of my biggest pet peeves is someone who qualifies their real life pain with the sentence of “it will be fine though, no worries.” That is junk. It isn’t real and it hacks me off. We kick at the goads of God being in control and mask our lives of struggle because we don’t want to be judged. We don’t want people to think that we don’t have it all together. And we don’t want to admit that God isn’t who we thought He was because struggle has entered our lives, and a “good god couldn’t be a part of pain.” But, until we let go of the idea that pain has no part in our lives, we will never know the fullness of God’s grace, mercy, kindness, faithfulness and goodness.
We continue to look at Paul’s life. He provides us with a picture of suffering that we can relate to. Because, honestly, Paul faced every type of struggle imaginable (short of taking on humanity’s sin).
1.) Suffering is a part of our lives and that is good
2 Corinthians 6:4-5, 11:23-27
What would we think of someone who had that account of their life?
-to have more faith
-that the person were missing something, because God wouldn’t put that much adversity in lives if they were walking with Him
But that’s not true. It’s in our suffering that we learn and mature the most, because it is in our weakness that we are dependent on God.
Example:
How can suffering be good?
We don’t think that suffering and rejoicing can coexist. But Acts 5 says that we should rejoice in suffering. We are counted worthy to suffer. What does rejoicing in your suffering look like?
2 Corinthians 1:3-4….God comforts us, so that we can comfort others. God gives us hope, grace, insight and tangible comfort through His body, so that in turn we can comfort others both in the body and out.
We have experiences in life that allow us to relate to others and comfort them. And even if we haven’t gone through the exact circumstance, we have suffered and tasted God’s goodness and comfort. And that is good.
2.) Thorns
Let’s be honest, Paul is a stud. He’s tough. He endured. He went through a lot, positively influenced a lot of people, saw incredible things. He suffered and survived. If I were Paul, I would be so prideful. But Paul says that he “boasts in weakness.” How?
2 Corinthians 12:7
So because of the revelations Paul experienced, God gave him a thorn in his flesh, more accurately it is a sharp stake in his side. Why? To keep Paul from exalting himself, to keep him humble. This is hard for us to understand. No one knows exactly what the thorn was, theories range from a physical deformity such as epilepsy or a humpback to extreme persecution or temptation. We know that three times Paul prays for its removal and God doesn’t take it away. So why is that hard for us? Because God puts something in Paul’s life that hurts so much that Paul refers to as a “messenger from Satan.” That means it must have been so tough that it could have and practically should have kept Paul from doing the work God called him to. And how do we reconcile that with our understanding of God? Well, I don’t think we do reconcile those things, I think we get a better picture of who God is. He is sovereign and uses all things for His glory. This thorn kept Paul from pride which is sin, and God used it in Paul’s life to better Paul for his calling.
Why do we hate the idea that God put a thorn in Paul’s side? Because we think that God exists to make us happy. We think that being in good standing with God leads to a smooth, comfortable life. That’s a lie. If you think that God equates a life of ease, happiness and fun, you don’t understand the Living God. And hopefully we will all experience these things at some point, but they aren’t promised and you aren’t owed any of them.
Quotes:
“If fun is your ultimate goal, then you won’t follow Jesus very far, because His path was hard.” -Rob Edwards
“Life is not about your being comfortable and happy and successful and pain free. It is about becoming the man or woman God has called you to be”
-Charles Swindoll
Don’t be mistaken. God does not exist for you. You exist for God. Interchanging the two is idolatry and that is a sin. See Paul understood that it was never about him, 2 Corinthians isn’t about Paul, it’s about God. Your life isn’t about you, it’s always been about God.
3.) The Good News
a.) God’s grace is sufficient for you
Three times Paul prays for God to remove the thorn, but what does God say? 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” God’s plan for us is bigger than we can see. So everyday God tells us “my grace is sufficient for you” and Paul reminds us that when we are weak, then we are strong. It is in our weakness, that His strength is perfected. We are taught that success is power, not weakness. Success makes us proud and independent, but in weakness we are dependent on the Lord and He pours His strength into us. And that should change the way we look at suffering and weakness and success. Paul shows us this attitude when he says that he delights in hardships. His view on strength and success come from God.
b.) God’s grace is sufficient for everyday
i.) Paul calls his thorn a “messenger from Satan.” What does that mean? It means that with this thorn comes a message from Satan. It says “you aren’t good enough,” “you can’t do this,” “you should quit,” “you are weak,” “you are sinner,” “you can handle this on your own,” etc, etc. But God’s grace covers all of this. So when you are in the midst of struggle you can rest on who He is and what He is doing. Exodus 14:14, Psalm 35:1-3. God’s grace fights this message from the thorn, because He gives you strength, makes up the gap for your sin and leads you.
ii.) Another way that His grace is sufficient is that it sustains you when you want to give up. 2 Corinthians 1:8-11. Paul says that they hated life. They didn’t want to be here anymore. Paul also says that “to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Christ is our hope everyday at every moment.
c.) God’s grace is sufficient in giving us hope
The struggles of this world will fade away. They are not eternal. Because of grace we will be glorified and the pain goes away. See we think that this world is supposed to bring us happiness, ease and a pain free existence. That’s not this life, but the next. And that is the hope that Christ offers, that because of His grace one day, some day we are in heaven with Him, free of sin and struggle.
Suffering. No one wants to teach about. It’s one of my favorite subjects though, because it is so crucial to our lives as believers and, yet, so misunderstood in our culture. We think that being a Christian and suffering are mutually exclusive. That couldn't be more wrong. We have bought into this idea that once we are a Christian our lives will be easier, but that is not what Scripture says. The Bible is full of people who are messy, hurting, abused, and misunderstood and in the struggle, namely Jesus. But that isn’t what we see in our “Christian” setting today is it? We come to church and youth group prettied up, hiding our pain. We plaster on a fake smile, hide under the flag of “God is in control.” That’s our pride and its wrong. One of my biggest pet peeves is someone who qualifies their real life pain with the sentence of “it will be fine though, no worries.” That is junk. It isn’t real and it hacks me off. We kick at the goads of God being in control and mask our lives of struggle because we don’t want to be judged. We don’t want people to think that we don’t have it all together. And we don’t want to admit that God isn’t who we thought He was because struggle has entered our lives, and a “good god couldn’t be a part of pain.” But, until we let go of the idea that pain has no part in our lives, we will never know the fullness of God’s grace, mercy, kindness, faithfulness and goodness.
We continue to look at Paul’s life. He provides us with a picture of suffering that we can relate to. Because, honestly, Paul faced every type of struggle imaginable (short of taking on humanity’s sin).
1.) Suffering is a part of our lives and that is good
2 Corinthians 6:4-5, 11:23-27
What would we think of someone who had that account of their life?
-to have more faith
-that the person were missing something, because God wouldn’t put that much adversity in lives if they were walking with Him
But that’s not true. It’s in our suffering that we learn and mature the most, because it is in our weakness that we are dependent on God.
Example:
How can suffering be good?
We don’t think that suffering and rejoicing can coexist. But Acts 5 says that we should rejoice in suffering. We are counted worthy to suffer. What does rejoicing in your suffering look like?
2 Corinthians 1:3-4….God comforts us, so that we can comfort others. God gives us hope, grace, insight and tangible comfort through His body, so that in turn we can comfort others both in the body and out.
We have experiences in life that allow us to relate to others and comfort them. And even if we haven’t gone through the exact circumstance, we have suffered and tasted God’s goodness and comfort. And that is good.
2.) Thorns
Let’s be honest, Paul is a stud. He’s tough. He endured. He went through a lot, positively influenced a lot of people, saw incredible things. He suffered and survived. If I were Paul, I would be so prideful. But Paul says that he “boasts in weakness.” How?
2 Corinthians 12:7
So because of the revelations Paul experienced, God gave him a thorn in his flesh, more accurately it is a sharp stake in his side. Why? To keep Paul from exalting himself, to keep him humble. This is hard for us to understand. No one knows exactly what the thorn was, theories range from a physical deformity such as epilepsy or a humpback to extreme persecution or temptation. We know that three times Paul prays for its removal and God doesn’t take it away. So why is that hard for us? Because God puts something in Paul’s life that hurts so much that Paul refers to as a “messenger from Satan.” That means it must have been so tough that it could have and practically should have kept Paul from doing the work God called him to. And how do we reconcile that with our understanding of God? Well, I don’t think we do reconcile those things, I think we get a better picture of who God is. He is sovereign and uses all things for His glory. This thorn kept Paul from pride which is sin, and God used it in Paul’s life to better Paul for his calling.
Why do we hate the idea that God put a thorn in Paul’s side? Because we think that God exists to make us happy. We think that being in good standing with God leads to a smooth, comfortable life. That’s a lie. If you think that God equates a life of ease, happiness and fun, you don’t understand the Living God. And hopefully we will all experience these things at some point, but they aren’t promised and you aren’t owed any of them.
Quotes:
“If fun is your ultimate goal, then you won’t follow Jesus very far, because His path was hard.” -Rob Edwards
“Life is not about your being comfortable and happy and successful and pain free. It is about becoming the man or woman God has called you to be”
-Charles Swindoll
Don’t be mistaken. God does not exist for you. You exist for God. Interchanging the two is idolatry and that is a sin. See Paul understood that it was never about him, 2 Corinthians isn’t about Paul, it’s about God. Your life isn’t about you, it’s always been about God.
3.) The Good News
a.) God’s grace is sufficient for you
Three times Paul prays for God to remove the thorn, but what does God say? 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” God’s plan for us is bigger than we can see. So everyday God tells us “my grace is sufficient for you” and Paul reminds us that when we are weak, then we are strong. It is in our weakness, that His strength is perfected. We are taught that success is power, not weakness. Success makes us proud and independent, but in weakness we are dependent on the Lord and He pours His strength into us. And that should change the way we look at suffering and weakness and success. Paul shows us this attitude when he says that he delights in hardships. His view on strength and success come from God.
b.) God’s grace is sufficient for everyday
i.) Paul calls his thorn a “messenger from Satan.” What does that mean? It means that with this thorn comes a message from Satan. It says “you aren’t good enough,” “you can’t do this,” “you should quit,” “you are weak,” “you are sinner,” “you can handle this on your own,” etc, etc. But God’s grace covers all of this. So when you are in the midst of struggle you can rest on who He is and what He is doing. Exodus 14:14, Psalm 35:1-3. God’s grace fights this message from the thorn, because He gives you strength, makes up the gap for your sin and leads you.
ii.) Another way that His grace is sufficient is that it sustains you when you want to give up. 2 Corinthians 1:8-11. Paul says that they hated life. They didn’t want to be here anymore. Paul also says that “to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Christ is our hope everyday at every moment.
c.) God’s grace is sufficient in giving us hope
The struggles of this world will fade away. They are not eternal. Because of grace we will be glorified and the pain goes away. See we think that this world is supposed to bring us happiness, ease and a pain free existence. That’s not this life, but the next. And that is the hope that Christ offers, that because of His grace one day, some day we are in heaven with Him, free of sin and struggle.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Heads Up
Since I haven't been able to really write on here about anything meaningful as of late (b/c I don't think it is cool to put really personal info on your blog) I thought I would give you a list of things that I have been digging as of late. So here it goes...
1.) The book, Do Hard Things. A lot of my students are reading it, too, and I have really seen a change in their attitudes. Its cool to see. The writers have a blog, therebelution.com, and the articles on chivalry are excellent. The modesty survey is good as well, and the definitions make me laugh a lot.
2.) Music: Inevitable and Breaking by Anberlin, Hallelujah by Bethany Dillon and White Horse by Taylor Swift (I know she is a little bubble gummy, but I like the song anyhow)
3.) Forgiveness. I have been thinking about this a lot lately and how it is part of the process of sanctification. It is hard to forgive somethings. And just when I think something is forgiven, a new layer opens up and I feel like I am at square one again. I've been pondering this week if it is possible to forgive something when you are still hurt over it. I welcome your feedback.
4.) Real Simple: both the magazine and the website. You should see the amount of decorating I have done recently.
5.) All things fall. I love the smell, the attitude, the cooler weather. It's beautiful and, yes, I attended two bonfires this weekend. Be jealous.
p.s. Jenn, your present is on the way...I just stink at actually mailing things...and you will love it
1.) The book, Do Hard Things. A lot of my students are reading it, too, and I have really seen a change in their attitudes. Its cool to see. The writers have a blog, therebelution.com, and the articles on chivalry are excellent. The modesty survey is good as well, and the definitions make me laugh a lot.
2.) Music: Inevitable and Breaking by Anberlin, Hallelujah by Bethany Dillon and White Horse by Taylor Swift (I know she is a little bubble gummy, but I like the song anyhow)
3.) Forgiveness. I have been thinking about this a lot lately and how it is part of the process of sanctification. It is hard to forgive somethings. And just when I think something is forgiven, a new layer opens up and I feel like I am at square one again. I've been pondering this week if it is possible to forgive something when you are still hurt over it. I welcome your feedback.
4.) Real Simple: both the magazine and the website. You should see the amount of decorating I have done recently.
5.) All things fall. I love the smell, the attitude, the cooler weather. It's beautiful and, yes, I attended two bonfires this weekend. Be jealous.
p.s. Jenn, your present is on the way...I just stink at actually mailing things...and you will love it
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Ramblings
I haven't updated in awhile...so here are some things I have been thinking about:
1.) The average height of an American woman is 5'4"...I am 5'3" and the majority of women I know are significantly taller than me...so I think the average is off or the people they used for their research were abnormally short
2.) Although I have a great respect for the people who put the words to songs in PowerPoint (hey, I've been that person before...it's not a super fun job), I would just like to remind them that a comma does not need to be after every line...really...you don't
3.) New Kids on the Block have made a comeback...so how much longer will the world have to wait for an N'SYNC reunion?
4.) Martin Davis retired from his blogging...the world is now a much sadder (and less witty) place
5.) Fall is my favorite season for the following reasons: I like the colors orange, brown and green. Pumpkin carving is a good activity. And humidity goes away and everyone's hair behaves better and when people's hair behaves better, people are nicer.
1.) The average height of an American woman is 5'4"...I am 5'3" and the majority of women I know are significantly taller than me...so I think the average is off or the people they used for their research were abnormally short
2.) Although I have a great respect for the people who put the words to songs in PowerPoint (hey, I've been that person before...it's not a super fun job), I would just like to remind them that a comma does not need to be after every line...really...you don't
3.) New Kids on the Block have made a comeback...so how much longer will the world have to wait for an N'SYNC reunion?
4.) Martin Davis retired from his blogging...the world is now a much sadder (and less witty) place
5.) Fall is my favorite season for the following reasons: I like the colors orange, brown and green. Pumpkin carving is a good activity. And humidity goes away and everyone's hair behaves better and when people's hair behaves better, people are nicer.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Sweet Peaceful Mornings
I am currently in SC on a retreat with my coworkers. This morning I went up to a local coffee shop by myself for a little quiet reading time. The weather is gorgeous-slightly chilly with a breeze and being that fall is quickly approaching I am enjoying the weather even more. I know that fall is supposed to symbolize change and winter represents death, but they are my favorite seasons regardless. Anyhow, I sat outside this coffee shop in an adirondack chair with my hot chocolate, Life Together by Bonhoeffer and my ipod playing Phil Wickham and Patty Griffin. It was glorious. Then I walked around some shops that were close by and talked to a local pottery store owner. She was sweet and excited to talk to someone.
It was just a nice morning. Slow and easy and coming off of the previous night of sweet fellowship (and a ping pong victory) it just felt full.
That is all...greetings from the great state of South Carolina...
Friday, September 19, 2008
Miracles
I wrote this a couple years ago...I haven't proofread it, so I apologize for that...its just something I have been thinking about again.
I believe in the natural. I believe that the Lord is active, daily, in our lives. I also believe that “believing” in the supernatural is our man-made way of magnifying the Lord. The problem with magnification of this sort is that it is impossible. How do you make something infinitely, out-of-our-comprehension huge even larger? You can’t. You don’t need to. Yet that is what we attempt to do with this so called supernatural. It’s because our view of an infinite King somehow gets emaciated and bastardized into something unrecognizable. You could call it idolatry. I think the problem is not the belief in the supernatural, but a lack of belief that the Lord is working in our lives at all times-good or bad. Also, we are so content going about our lives expecting to be under whelmed that we don’t acknowledge the everyday, seemingly mundane miracles that the Lord performs everyday. We expect so much less than He has promised us. Why is our waking or taking another breath not seen as miraculous to us? We cannot make ourselves perform these acts. Is that not what a miracle is? Something that is unexplainable, that is not caused by anything other than the Lord. If this is true, then it has to be that everything, other than sin, is miraculous, because in and of myself I find only sin. However, the Lord causes all good things. So it must be that when I am able to love someone, it is miraculous. But it is not seen that way…I don’t see it that way. Yet, like all Truth, it is true regardless of how it is perceived.
Another way we “magnify” the Lord is by not acknowledging the work that He has been doing in one’s life, but calling one single act miraculous. Take a surgeon for example and say that this given surgeon performs an extremely delicate procedure with unusual success on an ailing patient. We call this miraculous and rightfully so, but on the wrong merit. Yes, the Lord was at work and ordained the preservation of the patient at that single moment in time and that is miraculous by definition, but let’s look at the entire situation. Did the Lord not allow that surgeon to be trained and taught? And why did that surgeon want to be a surgeon anyhow? And where did not only the desire, but the dedication that it takes to be a surgeon come from? What about all the factors surrounding his life, his character, upbringing, etc and etc that make this surgeon who he is and capable of performing what he does? Are not all these things remarkable in and of themselves despite of the status of any given patient? This is not even acknowledging all the other factors that come into play. Point being that God’s entire plan for our lives is miraculous. The way that every fraction of life, every person, situation, and experience are swept together in such a way that creates a person capable of accomplishing any given obstacle is a miracle.
This brings me to another point of how sinful and content with pretty rubbish we all are. Let’s continue using the scenario of the surgeon, but this time the patient dies. Is the Lord any less good? Is this less of a miracle? We see it that way. But might I propose that the connotation of a miracle being something that is undisputedly great and in one’s favor is a bit of an opiate for mankind. It makes us feel frilly and fuzzy on the inside and we like that, but the fact is that not everything can be seen through our naturally preferred rose-colored glasses. The patient dies, but the Lord is still at work. Why do we only associate miracles with good? Is the miracle not that the Lord is still active in our lives and sanctifying us? This is the big picture miracle. That the Creator of the Earth, the I AM, has been executing his flawless plan from before the beginning of time. That part of this plan is to sacrifice His Son as atonement for people who don’t deserve it. But we don’t acknowledge this miracle as having implications in every aspect and corner in our lives. The dictionary says that a miracle is “an event that is inexplicable by the laws of nature…[exciting] admiring awe.” The gospel, all alone, is a miracle. Not make-it-through-the-day watered-down occurrences. It is through this true miracle, the gospel of Christ, that we should view our lives.
I believe in the natural. I believe that the Lord is active, daily, in our lives. I also believe that “believing” in the supernatural is our man-made way of magnifying the Lord. The problem with magnification of this sort is that it is impossible. How do you make something infinitely, out-of-our-comprehension huge even larger? You can’t. You don’t need to. Yet that is what we attempt to do with this so called supernatural. It’s because our view of an infinite King somehow gets emaciated and bastardized into something unrecognizable. You could call it idolatry. I think the problem is not the belief in the supernatural, but a lack of belief that the Lord is working in our lives at all times-good or bad. Also, we are so content going about our lives expecting to be under whelmed that we don’t acknowledge the everyday, seemingly mundane miracles that the Lord performs everyday. We expect so much less than He has promised us. Why is our waking or taking another breath not seen as miraculous to us? We cannot make ourselves perform these acts. Is that not what a miracle is? Something that is unexplainable, that is not caused by anything other than the Lord. If this is true, then it has to be that everything, other than sin, is miraculous, because in and of myself I find only sin. However, the Lord causes all good things. So it must be that when I am able to love someone, it is miraculous. But it is not seen that way…I don’t see it that way. Yet, like all Truth, it is true regardless of how it is perceived.
Another way we “magnify” the Lord is by not acknowledging the work that He has been doing in one’s life, but calling one single act miraculous. Take a surgeon for example and say that this given surgeon performs an extremely delicate procedure with unusual success on an ailing patient. We call this miraculous and rightfully so, but on the wrong merit. Yes, the Lord was at work and ordained the preservation of the patient at that single moment in time and that is miraculous by definition, but let’s look at the entire situation. Did the Lord not allow that surgeon to be trained and taught? And why did that surgeon want to be a surgeon anyhow? And where did not only the desire, but the dedication that it takes to be a surgeon come from? What about all the factors surrounding his life, his character, upbringing, etc and etc that make this surgeon who he is and capable of performing what he does? Are not all these things remarkable in and of themselves despite of the status of any given patient? This is not even acknowledging all the other factors that come into play. Point being that God’s entire plan for our lives is miraculous. The way that every fraction of life, every person, situation, and experience are swept together in such a way that creates a person capable of accomplishing any given obstacle is a miracle.
This brings me to another point of how sinful and content with pretty rubbish we all are. Let’s continue using the scenario of the surgeon, but this time the patient dies. Is the Lord any less good? Is this less of a miracle? We see it that way. But might I propose that the connotation of a miracle being something that is undisputedly great and in one’s favor is a bit of an opiate for mankind. It makes us feel frilly and fuzzy on the inside and we like that, but the fact is that not everything can be seen through our naturally preferred rose-colored glasses. The patient dies, but the Lord is still at work. Why do we only associate miracles with good? Is the miracle not that the Lord is still active in our lives and sanctifying us? This is the big picture miracle. That the Creator of the Earth, the I AM, has been executing his flawless plan from before the beginning of time. That part of this plan is to sacrifice His Son as atonement for people who don’t deserve it. But we don’t acknowledge this miracle as having implications in every aspect and corner in our lives. The dictionary says that a miracle is “an event that is inexplicable by the laws of nature…[exciting] admiring awe.” The gospel, all alone, is a miracle. Not make-it-through-the-day watered-down occurrences. It is through this true miracle, the gospel of Christ, that we should view our lives.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Hallelujah
It's the title of the blog, so I figured sharing this night of my life was appropriate. It's one of those times that are just right because they encompass all that we were created for-glorifying the Lord through pure enjoyment of Him and His creation. It is one of the rare times that the tension we live in disappears and we are precisely who we are meant to be...a worshipper. And in that moment our whole being cries out "Hallelujah!" I aspire for my entire life to be like these moments. So here is the story:
I was with some of my students, four girls to be exact. We were on a retreat and decided to take a walk on the beach just before bedtime. In case you have never walked on the beach late at night, without a little creativity it is pretty boring. Basically it is just dark, but with a little imagination and understanding of God's presence, it is magic. And the next thing I knew the five of us were in an intense sand-ball fight (we don't have snow in Florida). We were throwing sand and kicking saltwater at each other. We were so disgusting, but laughing like 4year olds. Then we decided it was time to go swimming...in our basketball shorts and t-shirts and at 1am. We had so much fun laughing at ourselves and enjoying the beach. It was glorious. Then we went inside...
First everyone else laughed at how dirty we were..and let me tell you we were disgusting. So after showering and cleaning up all the leftover sand in the bathrooms, we being girls ended up talking in the kitchen. And that moment happened, the one that youth leaders worldwide hope and pray for and rarely have happen...the girls say, "teach us." They didn't care what it was, but they wanted to know more about Jesus and who He is and how much He loves them. And so we talked and looked at Scripture and thought about application.
I was so encouraged by these high school girls. Their love for the Lord, for each other, and their desire to share Christ with the world are a blessing to those they interact with. They have a passion for life and living it in such a way that God is glorified at all times. These girls will be dangerous, so take note.
I feel blessed to have this memory of them and an ongoing relationship with them in which we can continue to enjoy what the Lord has given us. And that experience has reminded me of just what our lives should be like all the time....hallelujah.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
My story starts with...
My favorite blog is Stuffchristianslike. I read it almost everyday. In general it is appealing because it makes fun of the silliness of christian culture. The greatest part is that it is all true. It is what I like to call an "of course" type of humor (i.e. "Of course" the music minister gave his wife the solo even though she can't sing and so and so has a much better voice). Sometimes though I am just introduced to new ideas that are challenging. Yesterday I watched a video that the blogger put up and it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I teared up a little and that's a big deal for me. After watching the video I began fervently seeking out its companions and found two more of similar nature. Go to youtube and search for Belief It's Personal. They are the three intro videos.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Counterfeit
When I was in Athens a few weeks ago I had a conversation with a good friend of mine. I really like this girl because she is boldly honest and the gospel affects her life in such a way that she isn't afraid to tell you that life is crappy and profane and in the same breath that it is joyful and wonderful. She and I were talking about how so often in life we see something we want and work to get it, but the way in which we do it gives us a result that is counterfeit because what we want is not something we can work for, it is something that either just is or is given to us. For example, I have heard countless youth groups or churches strive for unity. They do team builders, activities, small and large groups, but nothing seems to really give them what they are looking for. That's because unity doesn't come from team builders it comes from having the same goal. Another example is modesty. A person can learn to wear more clothes or even behave appropriately, but they haven't really learned modesty until they encounter Christ and it flows from them.
I have been thinking about this concept for awhile now. How do you avoid the counterfeit results? Because things like unity and modesty are important, really important and we should be teaching these things. But I don't want cheap unity or modesty or anything else for that matter. The answer seems simple enough: the Gospel. That's the only way for real change. It comes through the work of the gospel in your life...it's called sanctification. And the problem that we have with it is that it takes time and it is painful. The process of becoming more like Christ sucks, but it is good. And real. There is nothing counterfeit about it and that is what we really want, but we have to give up control for that to happen and that is hard. Faith is hard. But that is what I want for myself and the people around me. I want lives changed and continually being changed by the gospel not cheap, man-made results.
In order to know when something is counterfeit, you have to know the real thing so well that nothing else will do. That should be our standard. Resolving to know Christ and His work in our lives so well, that man-made results just won't do.
I have been thinking about this concept for awhile now. How do you avoid the counterfeit results? Because things like unity and modesty are important, really important and we should be teaching these things. But I don't want cheap unity or modesty or anything else for that matter. The answer seems simple enough: the Gospel. That's the only way for real change. It comes through the work of the gospel in your life...it's called sanctification. And the problem that we have with it is that it takes time and it is painful. The process of becoming more like Christ sucks, but it is good. And real. There is nothing counterfeit about it and that is what we really want, but we have to give up control for that to happen and that is hard. Faith is hard. But that is what I want for myself and the people around me. I want lives changed and continually being changed by the gospel not cheap, man-made results.
In order to know when something is counterfeit, you have to know the real thing so well that nothing else will do. That should be our standard. Resolving to know Christ and His work in our lives so well, that man-made results just won't do.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
A Memo to Floridians
My new friends, I like you. I am even growing to love Florida, which is not easy being that I am a SC/GA girl through and through. I like the beach and the fact that you are all tan. I like that flip flops are always appropriate. I am even learning to to gawk at the man wearing a vacation shirt when he is clearly not on vacation. But, friends, I will never be okay with you wearing crocs and saying that they are a better decision than chacos. Crocs look stupid. They do. They are really awkward jellies. That is what they are. You know it. They don't go with your clothes and they are not functional. You say they are good for being near the water, but chacos are better-they strap to your feet. Crocs fall off. And the colors. No one over the age of seven should be wearing neon colored shoes...with holes in them. Sorry, but they just shouldn't. Please stop wearing them. When you do, I am tempted to judge you and that is a sin. I don't want to sin and I don't want you to wear crocs...I feel sorry for your feet. Thank you.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Another Olympics-themed Blog
I will admit it, I am addicted to the Olympics. I plan my time around swimming, gymnastics, basketball (Tayshaun Prince...what what!!!) and, yes, even badminton. I have a problem, really I do. But that isn't what this is about. Two nights ago I had the women's all round gymnastics finals on. I was also reading Proverbs. I was in chapter 8 where wisdom is talking. So first I hear the announcers on the TV talking about how these girls have been working so hard for gold and silver. How their lives have been devoted to this struggle and fight for accomplishing their goals of getting gold, or settling for silver. And the I read, "take my instruction instead of silver, and knowledge rather than choice gold...I love those who love me and those who seek me diligently find me, riches and honor are with me, enduring wealth and righteousness, my fruit is better than gold, even fine gold, and my yield than choice silver..." I know that the bible is referencing gold and silver as in money or possessions, but can't a connection be made to the gold and silver medals that these girls are seeking out so passionately? And so I am thinking that we should be seeking wisdom diligently, working even harder than these athletes seeking silver and gold, because in the end the fruit of wisdom is better than any accolade, more valuable than any possession or accomplishment. And that makes sense. Wisdom affects our lives at every moment in every way, because wisdom or a lack their of is what characterizes our decision making. I think that is why the rest of the Proverb talks about how wisdom was present with God at creation, because wisdom helps us make choices...the best choices.
A couple of years ago I started in this pursuit of wisdom. I was praying for it and listening and learning. Then life got messy and I opted for survival, rather than wisdom. And now that I am awakening to life again, I see the necessity for wisdom in our lives-my own, the girls that I am ministering to, and everyone else, too. So often even we are not doing anything "wrong," we are not doing anything right either. That is why wisdom is so important, because it allows us to live the best life, the life intended for us. A life of abundance and worship. One that loves the Lord and loves others in a real, authentic and intense way. Wisdom gives us the ability to rest, give thanks, and be courageous. This is the kind of life that is worth more than gold and silver. One that is done with wisdom.
A couple of years ago I started in this pursuit of wisdom. I was praying for it and listening and learning. Then life got messy and I opted for survival, rather than wisdom. And now that I am awakening to life again, I see the necessity for wisdom in our lives-my own, the girls that I am ministering to, and everyone else, too. So often even we are not doing anything "wrong," we are not doing anything right either. That is why wisdom is so important, because it allows us to live the best life, the life intended for us. A life of abundance and worship. One that loves the Lord and loves others in a real, authentic and intense way. Wisdom gives us the ability to rest, give thanks, and be courageous. This is the kind of life that is worth more than gold and silver. One that is done with wisdom.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Olympics...it is the best time of the year
It's Olympics time my friends. You may think that I am talking about all the events going on in Beijing, but you are wrong. I will talk about those later. Right now I am talking about the Olympics of youth ministry summer. What does this entail you ask? Let me tell you. First of all, it means ridiculous amounts of killer bunnies games. Second, badminton...and a lot of badminton. For those who think that badminton is for old people, let me not so politely tell you that you are dead wrong. It is super fun and way out of control. Lastly, it means all things beach. Beach volleyball, beach baseball, beach badminton, beach laying out, beach swimming, etc, etc. This is what I have been doing for the last two weeks. Every Olympics must have medals, so I will award them. First in all things beach-I give the gold medal to Liz...she was all about the beach. For badminton, the gold medal goes to Karen for making the same ferocious face as Jason when he plays dodge ball. And I give myself the gold for killer bunnies, because I can. And the gold for overall coolness goes to the entire Wilkening clan. They are really cool and I am learning a lot from them about kindness, hospitality and creating a space that allows for others to be free to be themselves, but also setting healthy boundaries and giving an example of a Christ like life.
Now for the "real" Olympics...they are a good time. Michael Phelps is a beast. Badminton is awesome. Men's gymnastics is out of control.
Now for the "real" Olympics...they are a good time. Michael Phelps is a beast. Badminton is awesome. Men's gymnastics is out of control.
Friday, July 25, 2008
This is Ministry
This conversation happened Wednesday while hanging out a pool with 15 junior high students, 5 high school students and 4 leaders.
High School Girls: Sara, let's go to the beach next Wednesday!
Me: I can't I will be out of town.
Another Leaders: I will be out of town, too.
(High schoolers get a look of bewilderment on their faces)
High School Girl: You mean you have lives?
High School Girl 2: You have friends that aren't us?
This is what I do for a living, folks...
High School Girls: Sara, let's go to the beach next Wednesday!
Me: I can't I will be out of town.
Another Leaders: I will be out of town, too.
(High schoolers get a look of bewilderment on their faces)
High School Girl: You mean you have lives?
High School Girl 2: You have friends that aren't us?
This is what I do for a living, folks...
Monday, July 14, 2008
A Letter to Baptists
Dear Baptists,
I love you my baptist brothers and sisters. In fact, I am still one of you (although I do consider myself Presbyterian and have for awhile...I am currently becoming a member). I appreciate my Baptist upbringing. I do, however, have a question for you. Why all the clapping? I mean it is a little over excessive isn't it? Last week I was at a conference and you all clapped a lot. And at unnecessary places. Are you really that excited about 2+2=4 and about that break in between songs? The enthusiasm is appreciated, it is and I could feel your excitement rising as you were unable to hold you hands at your sides. But I just don't understand. It was too much, really it was. You were unable to go without applause for five minutes and it was distracting-at least to me. So my question is why. What are your standards for this clapping? What prompts your applause? Any insight will be helpful. And until then, do you think you could hold it down a bit so I could hear the words of the song or the sermon? Thanks.
Sincerely,
A non-clapper
I love you my baptist brothers and sisters. In fact, I am still one of you (although I do consider myself Presbyterian and have for awhile...I am currently becoming a member). I appreciate my Baptist upbringing. I do, however, have a question for you. Why all the clapping? I mean it is a little over excessive isn't it? Last week I was at a conference and you all clapped a lot. And at unnecessary places. Are you really that excited about 2+2=4 and about that break in between songs? The enthusiasm is appreciated, it is and I could feel your excitement rising as you were unable to hold you hands at your sides. But I just don't understand. It was too much, really it was. You were unable to go without applause for five minutes and it was distracting-at least to me. So my question is why. What are your standards for this clapping? What prompts your applause? Any insight will be helpful. And until then, do you think you could hold it down a bit so I could hear the words of the song or the sermon? Thanks.
Sincerely,
A non-clapper
For the Record
Just so we are clear saying "you are loved and appreciated" is not the same thing as saying "I love you and appreciate you."
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Just for Fun
My last post wasn't nearly as witty as I like for them to be. Hence, I have decided to post some of my favorite quotes from my students. Let me tell you, the culture here is hilarious.
--"One day while I was riding my unicycle..."
--"Boy, I sure love a man in a sweater vest..."
--"You can't name your daughter Jezebel, that's like naming you son Benedict Arnold..."
--"These envelopes are exacerbating..." (said by a 6th grader)
--Person 1 "Hey, clean the bathrooms"
Person 2 "Dudes, too?"
--"One day while I was riding my unicycle..."
--"Boy, I sure love a man in a sweater vest..."
--"You can't name your daughter Jezebel, that's like naming you son Benedict Arnold..."
--"These envelopes are exacerbating..." (said by a 6th grader)
--Person 1 "Hey, clean the bathrooms"
Person 2 "Dudes, too?"
J-Lo, please don't kill me...
Sorry, Jenn, I haven't written in awhile and you keep reminding me that my blog is a form of entertainment for you, so here you are.
I haven't updated the blog world in awhile about all the new stuff that is going on in my life. So I intend to use this time to do that. I'm starting to settle in to my new digs. I love my house and getting to decorate it might be my favorite activity. I'm starting to not be so afraid of the things lurking in the dark. I have two friends. I like my job and the families in the church. They are wonderful and I am really enjoying my time with them. I am currently house sitting and am in love with the dog here. Who knew I liked dogs so much? Well, I like this one at least. I am finally getting to a place where I can deal with my life as a whole and not compartmentalize so much, which I take as a good sign.
The last few weeks have been slightly (okay, overwhelmingly) tumultuous. I feel as though every difficult situation from the last ten years of my life has been resurrected in some way as well as having new situations present themselves. I went into survival mode for a bit and now it is time to deal with all of it. It has made me tired and it is difficult being in a new place for all of this, because it takes me a long time to trust people and I'm not ready to be vulnerable with people here, yet. But sometimes I just need someone to be on my side and I struggle to tell that to the people around me. In this time, though, I have seen the Lord as my peace and He has been reminding me of the gentle spirit which He has called me to have. I realized that over the last two years with so much going on and shutting down from the world, I have become really difficult with people and that is wrong. So I my goal is to be easy with people. Not a pushover, but kind, gentle, compassionate and honest. He is going to have to work in my a lot to get me there, because let's be honest I am more than a little sarcastic. But I believe that He has called me to this and will make me into the woman He wants. And that goes for my life overall, He will continue to work all that is going on to make me someone who glorifies Him more. And I look forward to that.
I haven't updated the blog world in awhile about all the new stuff that is going on in my life. So I intend to use this time to do that. I'm starting to settle in to my new digs. I love my house and getting to decorate it might be my favorite activity. I'm starting to not be so afraid of the things lurking in the dark. I have two friends. I like my job and the families in the church. They are wonderful and I am really enjoying my time with them. I am currently house sitting and am in love with the dog here. Who knew I liked dogs so much? Well, I like this one at least. I am finally getting to a place where I can deal with my life as a whole and not compartmentalize so much, which I take as a good sign.
The last few weeks have been slightly (okay, overwhelmingly) tumultuous. I feel as though every difficult situation from the last ten years of my life has been resurrected in some way as well as having new situations present themselves. I went into survival mode for a bit and now it is time to deal with all of it. It has made me tired and it is difficult being in a new place for all of this, because it takes me a long time to trust people and I'm not ready to be vulnerable with people here, yet. But sometimes I just need someone to be on my side and I struggle to tell that to the people around me. In this time, though, I have seen the Lord as my peace and He has been reminding me of the gentle spirit which He has called me to have. I realized that over the last two years with so much going on and shutting down from the world, I have become really difficult with people and that is wrong. So I my goal is to be easy with people. Not a pushover, but kind, gentle, compassionate and honest. He is going to have to work in my a lot to get me there, because let's be honest I am more than a little sarcastic. But I believe that He has called me to this and will make me into the woman He wants. And that goes for my life overall, He will continue to work all that is going on to make me someone who glorifies Him more. And I look forward to that.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
A Letter to Graduating Seniors
I wrote the following letter to a group of graduating seniors, I thought I would post it.
Seniors, Congratulations! I am so excited for you. I hope that you enjoy tonight and the people that are surrounding you in love, support and encouragement. I am sad that I am not there in person. However, I consider myself blessed to have been able to spend a year with you and to be able to continue to call you my friends. Recently I have been going through pictures from high school and college. This was such a sweet time for me and I hope it is for you as well. Enjoy this time as you prepare for a new phase life. Have fun. The summer between graduation and starting college was one of the best I have ever had. It was full of excitement and fun and the first time in 7 years that I didn't have a summer reading list. I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to say to you.
I thought about giving you advice for college and summer or about telling you how precious you are to me and the people around you. But I have already told you that you are a blessing and others can give you better advice about college than I can. So, rather, I decided to tell you what my pastor told my graduating class at our senior banquet. I don't know who originally said it, but Pastor Bob told graduates the same thing year after year. He said "Remember who you are and whose you are." I thought it was dumb, until I was the one being faced with inevitable change. Here is why I find this cliche encouraging.
"Remember who you are"--I find that who I am is fairly fluid. I am constantly changing, but looking back over my life reminds me of the Lord's work in and through me. I see His goodness to me and the woman He is making me into. So remembering who you are is in actuality remembering where you came from.
"Remember whose you are"--Just as I am always changing, He is always the same. I am fluid, He is solid. And as my life changes, He is my constant. It is the Lord who has a plan for my life and in the face of change, He is our comfort and provision. It says in Luke "Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?" You are a child of God and the Father has good planned for you life...even when you feel like you are getting the snake or the scorpion. Know and rest in the fact that He is your Father.
Seniors, Congratulations! I am so excited for you. I hope that you enjoy tonight and the people that are surrounding you in love, support and encouragement. I am sad that I am not there in person. However, I consider myself blessed to have been able to spend a year with you and to be able to continue to call you my friends. Recently I have been going through pictures from high school and college. This was such a sweet time for me and I hope it is for you as well. Enjoy this time as you prepare for a new phase life. Have fun. The summer between graduation and starting college was one of the best I have ever had. It was full of excitement and fun and the first time in 7 years that I didn't have a summer reading list. I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to say to you.
I thought about giving you advice for college and summer or about telling you how precious you are to me and the people around you. But I have already told you that you are a blessing and others can give you better advice about college than I can. So, rather, I decided to tell you what my pastor told my graduating class at our senior banquet. I don't know who originally said it, but Pastor Bob told graduates the same thing year after year. He said "Remember who you are and whose you are." I thought it was dumb, until I was the one being faced with inevitable change. Here is why I find this cliche encouraging.
"Remember who you are"--I find that who I am is fairly fluid. I am constantly changing, but looking back over my life reminds me of the Lord's work in and through me. I see His goodness to me and the woman He is making me into. So remembering who you are is in actuality remembering where you came from.
"Remember whose you are"--Just as I am always changing, He is always the same. I am fluid, He is solid. And as my life changes, He is my constant. It is the Lord who has a plan for my life and in the face of change, He is our comfort and provision. It says in Luke "Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?" You are a child of God and the Father has good planned for you life...even when you feel like you are getting the snake or the scorpion. Know and rest in the fact that He is your Father.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Wishes Really Do Come True
Remember when bath and body works starting putting out the products with the blue antibacterial beads in them? I do...b/c it just made hand sanitizer more fun. And I thought, "I want to shake hands with the man who invented this." And now I have. Be jealous.
(And he is really awesome...for real)
(And he is really awesome...for real)
Monday, April 21, 2008
Hospitality
I am not hospitable. Chiefly because I am afraid of people. But I'm not the only one. Look around you, what do you see? People who run from one another and wrap their lives up in activities that keep them in a “safe” zone. Let me unpack this in two ways-the first being the relationship we have with strangers, the second is our relationships with friends. Before going there, I think we can all agree on the truth that God calls us to be hospitable and generous. Not just with our homes, but with our time, money, gifts and really with all that we have. He says most blatantly in Hebrews 13:2, “Don't forget to be kind to strangers, for by doing so you have entertained angels without knowing.” Henri Nouwen points out in Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life that Abraham invited strangers into his home and it was through them that God revealed His plan for Sarah to have child. And in other places as well, God uses the guest as a blessing in the lives of the host. Not that we do these things for the blessing, but we must see hospitality as a relationship, not as a burden.
Now, our world view of strangers. How many of us are guilty of locking our doors when we see a homeless person on the side of the street? I am. And that fear captures our hearts, rather than trust in the Lord and compassion. Now don't get me wrong, I think there is a line between fear that keeps us from loving and irresponsibility with our safety, but honestly I don't know where that line is and I think that I err on the side of keeping myself too safe. I think this may be an American thing. I have heard countless stories of Europeans who offer their homes to Americans who are traveling. And certainly those in South and Central America are much more welcoming than Americans. Why is that? Could it possibly be that we live a life of arrogance and pride, with the facade of independence? I have only been out of the country once, but based on that experience and the experience of my friends, the people there live humble lives. They welcome help and live a community far different from ours. We don't know our neighbors or invite them in our homes, much less welcome people we don't know. Not only do we not do these things, but we are uncomfortable when people do them. For instance, I was in a coffee shop recently. I was annoyed with the lady next to me because she just kept talking and I wanted to read my book and be left alone (attitude problem #1). Then she started talking to me about her life and asking questions about mine, I was even more annoyed because I on principle don't talk to strangers (principle problem #1). When she found out I was new to town she offered me a free haircut, being that she is a hair dresser, and rather than be grateful I wondered what kind of hack businesswoman would offer anything free (cultural problem #1). The she did it. The unthinkable...that's right folks, she hugged me. She broke the one foot, unspoken physical barrier that we keep. She said I needed it because I was new to town. I thought she was nuts and was not only shocked, but freaked out (attitude, principle and cultural problems #2). I mean really, what was she thinking? She doesn't know me. But oh, she new I was new to town and working in job that is emotionally taxing and plagued with loneliness. She saw my need, and met it. And that my friends is love and hospitality at its purest form. She wanted nothing from me, but wanted to bless my life and I met that with an attitude that mocked her. No wonder I can't be hospitable.
So I started thinking that maybe I have trouble being hospitable to strangers, but surely I am with people in my circle of influence. Yeah, not so much. You probably aren't either. We keep ourselves at arms length. We go to our therapists and pastors to share our troubles, rather than sharing our lives with our friends. We lock our emotions and fears inside and only release them when we pay someone who legally cannot talk about them with anyone else. I have some friends who in my opinion have mastered hospitality. Not only have they welcomed me in their home, but have made me feel like I can share anything with them. The number of times that I have sat in their home and emotionally vomited on them is numerous. But they don't brush it off, they listen and want to know about my life. Their home is my home and they are not shy about that. Most people don't have that philosophy. We put out the “nice” plates when others come, live a life that isn't everyday. We talk about the weather, travel, in general nothing too invasive and wait until our guests leave to pull our hair up, change our clothes and truly be ourselves again. Putting out the “nice” plates isn't bad. I know that, but what it represents might be. What would happen if we used the everyday plates and served leftovers? Nothing. Our guests might realize that we are just like them and the walls of “properness” would come crashing down. I think we just fear too much. I know I do, because what if I am wrong or too messy to be loved. Sometimes I just don't want to be bothered with the deep relationship. With the difficulty of someone else's life, because my own is overwhelming enough. And that is wrong. Not to mention that I am missing out on the beauty of fellowship with others just like me.
There has to be an answer. I don't know what it is. Prayer. Waiting on the Lord to change my heart and overcome this deeply embedded fear. Practice. Trust in the Lord. And these things aren't easy. But I know that hospitably and generosity are a large part of being a disciple. Nouwen also says that “to fully appreciate what hospitality can mean, we possibly have to become first a stranger ourselves.” I think that is true. And right now I am at a place in my life where I am a stranger and receiving this hospitality. I mean really folks, strangers are hugging me in Starbucks. And the church is reaching out to me in a way that I have never experienced before. They have surrounded me with support and love. They are meeting so many of my needs that I get uncomfortable being loved like this. I don't understand it. Maybe that is what Nouwen is saying. I have to experience this side of hospitality to ever be able to extend it to others. And if that is true then I hope that I can be a blessing to my hosts while I learn from their generosity with the hope that one day I will be hospitable.
Now, our world view of strangers. How many of us are guilty of locking our doors when we see a homeless person on the side of the street? I am. And that fear captures our hearts, rather than trust in the Lord and compassion. Now don't get me wrong, I think there is a line between fear that keeps us from loving and irresponsibility with our safety, but honestly I don't know where that line is and I think that I err on the side of keeping myself too safe. I think this may be an American thing. I have heard countless stories of Europeans who offer their homes to Americans who are traveling. And certainly those in South and Central America are much more welcoming than Americans. Why is that? Could it possibly be that we live a life of arrogance and pride, with the facade of independence? I have only been out of the country once, but based on that experience and the experience of my friends, the people there live humble lives. They welcome help and live a community far different from ours. We don't know our neighbors or invite them in our homes, much less welcome people we don't know. Not only do we not do these things, but we are uncomfortable when people do them. For instance, I was in a coffee shop recently. I was annoyed with the lady next to me because she just kept talking and I wanted to read my book and be left alone (attitude problem #1). Then she started talking to me about her life and asking questions about mine, I was even more annoyed because I on principle don't talk to strangers (principle problem #1). When she found out I was new to town she offered me a free haircut, being that she is a hair dresser, and rather than be grateful I wondered what kind of hack businesswoman would offer anything free (cultural problem #1). The she did it. The unthinkable...that's right folks, she hugged me. She broke the one foot, unspoken physical barrier that we keep. She said I needed it because I was new to town. I thought she was nuts and was not only shocked, but freaked out (attitude, principle and cultural problems #2). I mean really, what was she thinking? She doesn't know me. But oh, she new I was new to town and working in job that is emotionally taxing and plagued with loneliness. She saw my need, and met it. And that my friends is love and hospitality at its purest form. She wanted nothing from me, but wanted to bless my life and I met that with an attitude that mocked her. No wonder I can't be hospitable.
So I started thinking that maybe I have trouble being hospitable to strangers, but surely I am with people in my circle of influence. Yeah, not so much. You probably aren't either. We keep ourselves at arms length. We go to our therapists and pastors to share our troubles, rather than sharing our lives with our friends. We lock our emotions and fears inside and only release them when we pay someone who legally cannot talk about them with anyone else. I have some friends who in my opinion have mastered hospitality. Not only have they welcomed me in their home, but have made me feel like I can share anything with them. The number of times that I have sat in their home and emotionally vomited on them is numerous. But they don't brush it off, they listen and want to know about my life. Their home is my home and they are not shy about that. Most people don't have that philosophy. We put out the “nice” plates when others come, live a life that isn't everyday. We talk about the weather, travel, in general nothing too invasive and wait until our guests leave to pull our hair up, change our clothes and truly be ourselves again. Putting out the “nice” plates isn't bad. I know that, but what it represents might be. What would happen if we used the everyday plates and served leftovers? Nothing. Our guests might realize that we are just like them and the walls of “properness” would come crashing down. I think we just fear too much. I know I do, because what if I am wrong or too messy to be loved. Sometimes I just don't want to be bothered with the deep relationship. With the difficulty of someone else's life, because my own is overwhelming enough. And that is wrong. Not to mention that I am missing out on the beauty of fellowship with others just like me.
There has to be an answer. I don't know what it is. Prayer. Waiting on the Lord to change my heart and overcome this deeply embedded fear. Practice. Trust in the Lord. And these things aren't easy. But I know that hospitably and generosity are a large part of being a disciple. Nouwen also says that “to fully appreciate what hospitality can mean, we possibly have to become first a stranger ourselves.” I think that is true. And right now I am at a place in my life where I am a stranger and receiving this hospitality. I mean really folks, strangers are hugging me in Starbucks. And the church is reaching out to me in a way that I have never experienced before. They have surrounded me with support and love. They are meeting so many of my needs that I get uncomfortable being loved like this. I don't understand it. Maybe that is what Nouwen is saying. I have to experience this side of hospitality to ever be able to extend it to others. And if that is true then I hope that I can be a blessing to my hosts while I learn from their generosity with the hope that one day I will be hospitable.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Redeeming Love
I finally read the book, folks. After years of people gushing about it and me snobbishly avoiding it, I found it at Goodwill for $1. I thought, "hey, if I am going to read it, these are the conditions I want to do it in." So I bought the book. I read it in a week and half, which to my understanding is about 8 days longer than it takes most people. Sorry, I have a job now.
I didn't hate it like I thought I would (it was only 3/4 as cheesy as I thought it would be). As a novel and a piece of fiction, I enjoyed reading it. I was able to relate to characters and enjoyed the setting of the book. However, certain parts made me very uncomfortable. For those of you who know me, that is probably not surprising. There was great emotional and physical detail that I was surprised to be reading in a piece of Christian fiction. At times I thought I was reading one of those novels with Fabio on the front. But I guess I am far more modest than most, so I just give this warning: careful, ladies, careful...emotional pornography ahead.
Here are my issues with the book. First of all, Angel was far too a sympathetic character to be a picture of Gomer or the church. As I read the book I realized that it was not so much a retelling of Hosea (which is what all those who suggested I read it told me), as it was a totally fictional story with a similar plot basics and points. But, Angel's character is still Gomer/God's people and let's be honest, folks, we are not sympathetic. We are sinners, we live in rebellion. We have no excuse. That doesn't make for a very compelling novel, though. Next, Hosea just didn't seem realistic enough to me. To an extent, sure, but where are his quirks and flaws? Where is his sin? The reader does see him struggle with faith and what God is doing in his life and with relationships, but what sin do we see him struggle with? Last time I checked we all had that little (and by little I mean astronomical) problem. This book spans years of time and all we get is a mention of an occasional struggle with lust. Even his anger is righteous. I'm just saying...can I marry a man like that--one who will never fail in pursuing me and loving me and never sins against me? I know that is what we all want, but biblically unless we marry Jesus then we will be marrying a sinner.
The book was okay, but its danger is that it walks a line of biblical accuracy and artistic freedom that blurs to the point of not knowing where one begins and the other ends. Some of the liberties it takes can definitely sway the reader's understanding of Scripture and that is really dangerous, not to mention that the story plays with emotions, specifically women's. That makes me nervous, because then we set expectations for men that are not only unrealistic, but unbiblical and cause us to set standards for men that are unattainable, ultimately causing us to not respect them.
p.s.-Please don't hate me for critiquing the book.
I didn't hate it like I thought I would (it was only 3/4 as cheesy as I thought it would be). As a novel and a piece of fiction, I enjoyed reading it. I was able to relate to characters and enjoyed the setting of the book. However, certain parts made me very uncomfortable. For those of you who know me, that is probably not surprising. There was great emotional and physical detail that I was surprised to be reading in a piece of Christian fiction. At times I thought I was reading one of those novels with Fabio on the front. But I guess I am far more modest than most, so I just give this warning: careful, ladies, careful...emotional pornography ahead.
Here are my issues with the book. First of all, Angel was far too a sympathetic character to be a picture of Gomer or the church. As I read the book I realized that it was not so much a retelling of Hosea (which is what all those who suggested I read it told me), as it was a totally fictional story with a similar plot basics and points. But, Angel's character is still Gomer/God's people and let's be honest, folks, we are not sympathetic. We are sinners, we live in rebellion. We have no excuse. That doesn't make for a very compelling novel, though. Next, Hosea just didn't seem realistic enough to me. To an extent, sure, but where are his quirks and flaws? Where is his sin? The reader does see him struggle with faith and what God is doing in his life and with relationships, but what sin do we see him struggle with? Last time I checked we all had that little (and by little I mean astronomical) problem. This book spans years of time and all we get is a mention of an occasional struggle with lust. Even his anger is righteous. I'm just saying...can I marry a man like that--one who will never fail in pursuing me and loving me and never sins against me? I know that is what we all want, but biblically unless we marry Jesus then we will be marrying a sinner.
The book was okay, but its danger is that it walks a line of biblical accuracy and artistic freedom that blurs to the point of not knowing where one begins and the other ends. Some of the liberties it takes can definitely sway the reader's understanding of Scripture and that is really dangerous, not to mention that the story plays with emotions, specifically women's. That makes me nervous, because then we set expectations for men that are not only unrealistic, but unbiblical and cause us to set standards for men that are unattainable, ultimately causing us to not respect them.
p.s.-Please don't hate me for critiquing the book.
Grown Up Easter Egg Hunt
Want to know what is stressful? Finding furniture. All I want is a small, black couch, but apparently those aren't made anymore.
However, in light of Easter being last week, I have decided to turn this search into an "Easter egg hunt" or a "Sara needs a couch hunt"...this is going to be the best game ever. Like when the Easter bunny used to hide that one egg where no one could find it. Jokes on you, Easter bunny, I always found it (with help from my parents...who will be here this weekend).
However, in light of Easter being last week, I have decided to turn this search into an "Easter egg hunt" or a "Sara needs a couch hunt"...this is going to be the best game ever. Like when the Easter bunny used to hide that one egg where no one could find it. Jokes on you, Easter bunny, I always found it (with help from my parents...who will be here this weekend).
Monday, March 17, 2008
This one is for Jenny
Every place I have lived I have had a place that go to think and rest. I have found my Florida spot. It is beautiful and on the St John's River. I have decided that I need to be by the water. My soul is more at rest there. I'm excited that I have found this place...it makes it more like home.
Speaking of home, I have found the apartment. There has been a little bit of drama during this process, but I found the one today. I'm pretty excited and hope that it all works out. It is an 80's built townhouse that needs a little love, but it feels like home and that is what I am looking for. Also, it has these balconies off of the master and guest rooms that look into a side courtyard with a big tree in it...it's pretty fabulous.
I really like being here and finding that I can build community and seeing the Lord provide for me. It has been a remarkable process and one that I am grateful for. The last year and a half, I have felt like the 400 years between the Old and New Testament-I know God is working, but I just don't see or hear it. Now I see Him, again, and it is reassuring. What can I say, I am not good at the waiting game. I'm really thankful for this church and the welcome that I have received.
Something I find interesting about myself (and maybe this happens with everyone) is that during transition and this whole process of starting over that I start to miss certain things and people. It is really interesting. For the last two weeks I have been missing someone that I haven't talked to in quite awhile. I just want their reassurance and support. It is strange, because I haven't felt that way in quite awhile. I wonder why that is? I guess some people just make me feel more reassured...I don't know.
I started reading Redeeming Love. I've tried to read it a few times and get bored after the second page and then I started judging all these people who have read it and say it is the greatest book. Basically, if you told me you liked the book and you thought I should read it, I put in the category of "cheesy Christian" and ignored your suggestion. (If I did that to you, I'm sorry...it was wrong). Well, I found the book at Goodwill for $1, so I thought, "hey, it's just a dollar...I will read the book and then people will stop telling me to read it." I have only read a few pages, but I'm not bored yet. We'll see.
So here you are Jenny, a little update of random information, nothing too deep or witty, but it is intended just for you (although others are welcome to read this).
p.s. today at Starbucks a random hair stylist hugged me (she said I needed it b/c I was new to town)
Speaking of home, I have found the apartment. There has been a little bit of drama during this process, but I found the one today. I'm pretty excited and hope that it all works out. It is an 80's built townhouse that needs a little love, but it feels like home and that is what I am looking for. Also, it has these balconies off of the master and guest rooms that look into a side courtyard with a big tree in it...it's pretty fabulous.
I really like being here and finding that I can build community and seeing the Lord provide for me. It has been a remarkable process and one that I am grateful for. The last year and a half, I have felt like the 400 years between the Old and New Testament-I know God is working, but I just don't see or hear it. Now I see Him, again, and it is reassuring. What can I say, I am not good at the waiting game. I'm really thankful for this church and the welcome that I have received.
Something I find interesting about myself (and maybe this happens with everyone) is that during transition and this whole process of starting over that I start to miss certain things and people. It is really interesting. For the last two weeks I have been missing someone that I haven't talked to in quite awhile. I just want their reassurance and support. It is strange, because I haven't felt that way in quite awhile. I wonder why that is? I guess some people just make me feel more reassured...I don't know.
I started reading Redeeming Love. I've tried to read it a few times and get bored after the second page and then I started judging all these people who have read it and say it is the greatest book. Basically, if you told me you liked the book and you thought I should read it, I put in the category of "cheesy Christian" and ignored your suggestion. (If I did that to you, I'm sorry...it was wrong). Well, I found the book at Goodwill for $1, so I thought, "hey, it's just a dollar...I will read the book and then people will stop telling me to read it." I have only read a few pages, but I'm not bored yet. We'll see.
So here you are Jenny, a little update of random information, nothing too deep or witty, but it is intended just for you (although others are welcome to read this).
p.s. today at Starbucks a random hair stylist hugged me (she said I needed it b/c I was new to town)
Monday, February 25, 2008
Florida-more than just Disney and Old People.
I know that I just posted a terribly depressing thought (except that Jesus is that answer and that isn't depressing, but anyway), but I also wanted to convey that I am not depressed about being in Florida. I think this is God's best for me. And I really like here. To prove this I will compile a list of reasons why.
Why I like Florida:
1. St John's River
2. Saving closet space, b/c you don't need sweaters or jackets
3. The fruit is amazing.
4. No drought
5. Flip-flops year round
6. Men don't wear jean shorts nearly as much as I thought.
7. Pretty trees covered in Spanish Moss
8. The community built with UGA fans living too close to gator country
9. Just when life gets too calm...hurricane season
10. Guaranteed tan
Seeking Second Best
I've been reading through 1 Samuel for the past couple of weeks. I'm going really slowly though. I don't mean to, but with all this election stuff it has been really interesting to think about the change from a theocracy to a monarchy and what that must have been like. I mean to go from God's best plan for you and then demanding to be like everyone else, like the rest of the world. And He warns us against it, but we demand none the less and He gives us our wish. I guess nothing has really ever been the same. But what is really interesting to me is that even when God gives the Israelites what they want, there are some that are still discontent with Saul being appointed as king and they stubbornly refuse him. They still aren't happy. Why? They got a king just like they wanted...it still isn't good enough. My question is what will be? What would be enough for them? And what will be enough for us? We do the same thing so often. I see the same desire in myself and I have seen it in my friends and the world around me. What will ever satisfy us? Of course the answer is the Lord, but we won't rest in that. We continue to look for materialistic items, people, feelings or experiences to fill the gap inside us. And it never stays lodged in the hole for very long. Sure, we are happy for .2 nano seconds and then the longing returns. It affects our relationships, with the Lord and others, because we put expectations on people to save us from our sinking and they disappoint without fail. Then we are back to longing with a deeper sense of urgency.
I long for the time when we will all relax, rest in the satisfying love of Father, Son and Spirit. When peace will characterize each of us. And I hope that we can experience at least a taste of that this side of heaven. And I think we can. God graciously reminds me that He satisfies when I forget. There are times when He is so present that all anxiousness falls away. Sometimes, the animosity and hurt in my life overwhelms me to where all there is Him. That is when I feel His comfort and peace. Maybe we should all come to terms with the fact that we are sinners. We will sin against one another and being honest about the depravity of humanity, of ourselves, will bring us to place that we have to trust the Lord.
I think is both ironic and tragic that we look so hard for stability, when everything changes. Everyone disappoints. Life innately goes up and down without notice. It is the very nature of the world. But we seek stability in jobs, friends, spouses, etc, etc. And nothing provides it, except the Lord. Yet we still seek something else. We are just like the disgruntled Israelites stubbornly pouting Saul's appointment. They asked for God's second best for them, and that is what they got. It is only in turning our lives over to Him, trusting and passionately submitting our lives to Him that we will get what we want.
I long for the time when we will all relax, rest in the satisfying love of Father, Son and Spirit. When peace will characterize each of us. And I hope that we can experience at least a taste of that this side of heaven. And I think we can. God graciously reminds me that He satisfies when I forget. There are times when He is so present that all anxiousness falls away. Sometimes, the animosity and hurt in my life overwhelms me to where all there is Him. That is when I feel His comfort and peace. Maybe we should all come to terms with the fact that we are sinners. We will sin against one another and being honest about the depravity of humanity, of ourselves, will bring us to place that we have to trust the Lord.
I think is both ironic and tragic that we look so hard for stability, when everything changes. Everyone disappoints. Life innately goes up and down without notice. It is the very nature of the world. But we seek stability in jobs, friends, spouses, etc, etc. And nothing provides it, except the Lord. Yet we still seek something else. We are just like the disgruntled Israelites stubbornly pouting Saul's appointment. They asked for God's second best for them, and that is what they got. It is only in turning our lives over to Him, trusting and passionately submitting our lives to Him that we will get what we want.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
The Difference a Year Makes
Today I was sitting at lunch with some really great folks, when someone suggested that we "think about where we were a year ago." A year ago I was on the eve of quite possibly the most difficult time of my life. And as I think about the trek of the past twelve months, I am overwhelmed at how much I have changed and at who the Lord has made me.
I have always thought of myself as passive, one who takes life as it is and doesn't fight back. I never stand up for myself. But over the past year I have learned the importance of asserting myself, my thoughts and ideas. I have seen the need to fight when appropriate. I am proud of the way that I have contended with negative circumstances and fought my way back safety. This feat can only be attributed to God's plan in maturing me and my faith.
This voyage has not been easy. It has been and continues to be full of emotion and choices that I would rather not deal with and don't feel prepared to deal with. But the more I have shared this concern, the more I have found that others feel the exact same way. I am beginning to believe that this may be the way that difficult decisions are made-because they have to be.
God has taught me this year about who has made me to be. I have been in so many different forms since last January-delighted, content, and growing to hurt, disappointed, tired, fearful, alone, and shut down. I have been so many different things. They have all stretched me and I seem to have come out on the other side, not unscathed but alright.
Although 2007 was difficult, there have been so many joys. I have developed deep relationships with people, explored the world a little, found healing in God given friends, rested and learned to laugh at life again. I found out that I like sushi and I am a champion long distance driver. Discovered that used bookstores soothe my soul. I listened to good music. One can't complain about these things.
Maybe my year was pretty typical-ups, downs and everything in between. I'm not sure I could ask for anything else. Now as I reflect, I see that I made an active decision to make the most of every opportunity and that brings peace.
I have always thought of myself as passive, one who takes life as it is and doesn't fight back. I never stand up for myself. But over the past year I have learned the importance of asserting myself, my thoughts and ideas. I have seen the need to fight when appropriate. I am proud of the way that I have contended with negative circumstances and fought my way back safety. This feat can only be attributed to God's plan in maturing me and my faith.
This voyage has not been easy. It has been and continues to be full of emotion and choices that I would rather not deal with and don't feel prepared to deal with. But the more I have shared this concern, the more I have found that others feel the exact same way. I am beginning to believe that this may be the way that difficult decisions are made-because they have to be.
God has taught me this year about who has made me to be. I have been in so many different forms since last January-delighted, content, and growing to hurt, disappointed, tired, fearful, alone, and shut down. I have been so many different things. They have all stretched me and I seem to have come out on the other side, not unscathed but alright.
Although 2007 was difficult, there have been so many joys. I have developed deep relationships with people, explored the world a little, found healing in God given friends, rested and learned to laugh at life again. I found out that I like sushi and I am a champion long distance driver. Discovered that used bookstores soothe my soul. I listened to good music. One can't complain about these things.
Maybe my year was pretty typical-ups, downs and everything in between. I'm not sure I could ask for anything else. Now as I reflect, I see that I made an active decision to make the most of every opportunity and that brings peace.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Life Lessons
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of going to a middle school girl's basketball game. Maybe pleasure isn't the correct word, because I left feeling quite a bit of anxiety over the parent's "cheering" and the awkwardness that surrounding the whole event, but I found that life is a lot like the game that I watched. You see these sweet girls were really awkward. Their skill was very basic (excluding one of the players). Life is much the same. I feel like 98% of the time I am just running around awkwardly trying to act as though I know what I am doing and then there is that one person who far too advanced for the game I am playing. And even when I do manage to make a shot, it was purely an act of luck. But through all of the uncomfortableness there was a beauty. These sweet girls just trying to figure it all out. The teamwork and comradery that comes from a journey. The joy of working hard and finally getting something right. The humor in the process of trying to get something right. Focusing on the task in front of you and rising above the awful comments being yelled down at you. These are the things that these girls were sharing in and the things that you and I share in everyday.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)