Those Who Listen

   A few years ago I had a serious crush on a boy. We were in that weird, are we/aren't we stage and it was killing me. Not to mention that we didn't live in the same state, so things were challenging. I remember that most of friends told me to move on. Get over it. That made me feel sad, helpless and hopeless. Something wasn't sitting right. So I had lunch with the wonderful and wise and funny Joann (aka JoJo).
   Going into lunch I was nervous to say anything about the situation because I felt like just letting it go was the thing to do and I didn't want to hear one more person tell me the same thing because those words were painful. But, JoJo is just so lovely and easy to tell things to and after a few probing questions I was spilling out the story. And I braced myself for her sympathetic rebuke. But it didn't come.
   You know what she told me? She said, "Sara, is he a believer?" Yes.  "Well then the great news is that he listens to Jesus, so you know what we're going to do? We are going to ask Jesus to work and move." It was the most hopeful, uplifting and encouraging words. I went from defeated to hopeful. And not just because I could do something, but because I was reminded of who orders our lives. I can go to Him with my desires and He cares. They matter to Him. And He speaks back, lovingly weaving our hearts and lives back to Him.
 
   I remember those words a lot. That I don't have to be in despair, because when my heart aches for something, there is One who is always at work. It doesn't mean that we always get the things we are wanting (case in point, said boy and I never ended up anywhere), but it does mean that God works inside of us to bring peace and joy.
   There are things that I want right now and I started to feel overwhelmed and lost. But then I remembered that God is at work, in my life and in the live of other folks. It is to Him that I can make my petition knowing that He is a Father who gives good gifts.

For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not afflict from his heart or grieve the children of men. -Lamentations 3:31-33

Was that on Purpose?

   You know what is really fun? Concerts. Love them. A few nights ago I went to a Ben Rector concert. So good and so entertaining. For the love, check him out. And go see him live, its a good show.

   Ben is super fun to watch and does a good job at getting the crowd involved (even me who hates being told what to do...sometimes I don't want to clap, so stop being so pushy...know what I mean?). Something happened that was really interesting to me. Now I don't know Ben, I'm sure he's a cool dude and I certainly don't know his intentions with this move, but he got everyone to sing along with the lyric "and you don't need Jesus until you're here." The context of the line is that we realize how needy we are when our hearts are breaking. I was just so intrigued by the fact that he got a whole room full of people (certainly not all of them believers) to sing Jesus's name and a need of him when they hurt. He put Jesus's name in our mouths. There were a lot of folks there and, more than likely, buddy had the rest of the audiences on his tour sing the same thing. That's a lot of people singing about Jesus.
   Now, I'm not saying that it was worship. I am hoping and praying that those words, put in peoples' mouths, cause thought. Or that when folks are in that place of crisis and hurt, they remember the words they sang along that night.
   Regardless, it was a fascinating thing. And beautiful.

Tide, Breakfast for Dinner and Girls' Singing Voices

   This has nothing to do with what I'm going to write about, but I just want everyone to know that 60-something year old man sitting at the table next to me at Caribou just went to exchange his cookie because it didn't have enough chocolate in it. I can support that.

   I'm a lot to handle. A little saucy and too ridiculous. And who needs transition time? Not me. I can go from serious to silly in .2 nanoseconds. And even though I know that I'm a bit much, I've always considered myself pretty easy. I'm not a lot of work and pretty flexible. Yesterday, it dawned on me that that's not so true.
    So here's the deal. I'm sick. Like I had to go to the doctor and get antibiotics sick. That stinks. And you know what started the whole mess? Allergies. I'm allergic to the outside and to certain dogs and cats. And that means that people have to make room for that. But that's not that abnormal, so generally I don't worry too much about it. But in the midst of being sick this week and people having to make room for me, I had to do laundry (I know...tragic). And I share a laundry room with other folks and they have a big container of Tide detergent that everyone uses. Isn't that kind? It is. But guess what-I'm allergic to Tide. And on top of that, I hate peanut butter and tomato soup and peas and iced tea and coffee and breakfast for dinner. I think that most girls singing voices sound horrific. Going on a walk by myself sounds like a great idea and talking in the morning is horrible. You know what all of this amounts to? I'm high maintenance. Ahhhh...I hate that. 
    And I hide it. Even from myself, until Monday around 11:27am. I tried to sneak in my detergent and put it on a different shelf, because I don't want anyone to think that I'm a diva. And I don't tell people that peas are gross, I just don't eat them. And I avoid folks in the morning and sometimes I wait until no one is in the common room before I leave the house, just because I don't feel like saying anything (fyi...I really love the folks I live with and enjoy spending time with them). 
    Why do we hide our quirks? Because it's easier. But you know what I think? I think that we are all kind of high maintenance. And we should probably be a little more open about it. Because I don't care if you like knitting and Christian coffee shop music is your favorite. If you want to drink coffee every morning and eat bacon at night, that's cool. I'll drink tea and eat cereal with you. And you probably don't mind switching to Gain instead of Tide and growing up my mom didn't mind making me a turkey sandwich instead of PB&J. 
    The beautiful part about us all being so high maintenance is that when we made room for each other and know each other, the difficult parts aren't that difficult. They just are. And that's the pretty part about relationships.