Since I have been back in Georgia, I have been quite the book fanatic. I am beginning to be quite impressed with myself. That's beside the point, though. Awhile I ago I picked up Franny and Zooey by JD Salinger. I had heard it was good. I'm about 2/3 through it and although I'm not sure I totally understand it, yet, I really have enjoyed it, but again this is beside the point. Last night I was reading and one of the parts goes like this:
He said that you were the only one who was bitter about S.'s suicide and the only one who really forgave him for it. The rest of us, he said, were outwardly unbitter and inwardly unforgiving. This may be truer than true.
After this I got to thinking that it is really only when we are outwardly honest about what we think and feel that we are able to forgive anyone, including ourselves. Now this isn't that easy. It is difficult to throw all that out on the table, because we feel such complex emotions. It means being honest about the way we dealt with things, how we felt about life rather it was correct or valid or embarrassing. It means seeing reality, true reality, not just one's own perspective on life. Now I'm not really sure what this looks like, but I think it has to be a part of walking by faith. I mean faith is taking a leap, right? Trusting the Lord and how He is working in you. Having faith in Him enough to step out and speak up, no matter the immediate consequence, because when all is said and done forgiveness is at the end. And forgiveness is one of the largest parts of our lives. Forgiveness from the Lord and forgiveness from one another and ourselves.
that's all for now...sorry it is rambled...I have coherent thoughts sometimes, promise...hopefully soon I will be able to share those with you, too
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