Sunday, January 13, 2008

The Difference a Year Makes

Today I was sitting at lunch with some really great folks, when someone suggested that we "think about where we were a year ago." A year ago I was on the eve of quite possibly the most difficult time of my life. And as I think about the trek of the past twelve months, I am overwhelmed at how much I have changed and at who the Lord has made me.
I have always thought of myself as passive, one who takes life as it is and doesn't fight back. I never stand up for myself. But over the past year I have learned the importance of asserting myself, my thoughts and ideas. I have seen the need to fight when appropriate. I am proud of the way that I have contended with negative circumstances and fought my way back safety. This feat can only be attributed to God's plan in maturing me and my faith.
This voyage has not been easy. It has been and continues to be full of emotion and choices that I would rather not deal with and don't feel prepared to deal with. But the more I have shared this concern, the more I have found that others feel the exact same way. I am beginning to believe that this may be the way that difficult decisions are made-because they have to be.
God has taught me this year about who has made me to be. I have been in so many different forms since last January-delighted, content, and growing to hurt, disappointed, tired, fearful, alone, and shut down. I have been so many different things. They have all stretched me and I seem to have come out on the other side, not unscathed but alright.
Although 2007 was difficult, there have been so many joys. I have developed deep relationships with people, explored the world a little, found healing in God given friends, rested and learned to laugh at life again. I found out that I like sushi and I am a champion long distance driver. Discovered that used bookstores soothe my soul. I listened to good music. One can't complain about these things.
Maybe my year was pretty typical-ups, downs and everything in between. I'm not sure I could ask for anything else. Now as I reflect, I see that I made an active decision to make the most of every opportunity and that brings peace.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...
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melaina said...

i'm glad that you learned so much about yourself, and you look back on this past year with that knowledge.
Miss you.