A Memo to Floridians

My new friends, I like you. I am even growing to love Florida, which is not easy being that I am a SC/GA girl through and through. I like the beach and the fact that you are all tan. I like that flip flops are always appropriate. I am even learning to to gawk at the man wearing a vacation shirt when he is clearly not on vacation. But, friends, I will never be okay with you wearing crocs and saying that they are a better decision than chacos. Crocs look stupid. They do. They are really awkward jellies. That is what they are. You know it. They don't go with your clothes and they are not functional. You say they are good for being near the water, but chacos are better-they strap to your feet. Crocs fall off. And the colors. No one over the age of seven should be wearing neon colored shoes...with holes in them. Sorry, but they just shouldn't. Please stop wearing them. When you do, I am tempted to judge you and that is a sin. I don't want to sin and I don't want you to wear crocs...I feel sorry for your feet. Thank you.